


The Origin of One H. Sakura

by raebeme



Category: Naruto
Genre: BAMF Haruno Sakura, Gen, Haruno Sakura-centric, Tags will be added as the fic progresses, dark au, i shouldn't post things at 2am clearly i mess up all the tags n the whole thing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-23
Updated: 2018-11-25
Packaged: 2019-08-28 00:47:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16713316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raebeme/pseuds/raebeme
Summary: On paper Haruno Sakura was born 61 years after the founding of Konoha, she has two loving parents - both civilian, and lived in a nice house in a well to do part of town. She has her own problems as most children do; teasing led to bullying led to friendships with other little girls who didn’t stand for nonsense. She joined the academy and followed that other little girl into a world of blood and blades and secrets and shadows.On paper Haruno Sakura is a nice little girl. On paper she exists.





	1. Chapter 1

Nara Shikaku was wandering the civilian districts disguised as to not attract the attention of stupid people and their stupid problems. He didn’t have time for that today. Instead he was busy solving difficult problems for difficult people.

In two years’ time every single major clan in the village would be sending their heir into the Academy. Typically, a large number of clan heirs at once wasn’t an issue. They simply tightened general security and called it a day but never before would it be the entirety of the clan system. Minus a few defunct clans - and also the Uchiha and the Inuzaku, they would only be sending their spares. Which made the whole issue _so_ much easier.

It really didn’t help.

Because the Uzumaki boy would also be joining the class. Rounding out the number of important children into almost three perfect teams. A fucking nightmare on security.

Little Hinata, the Hyuuga heiress, had been snatched from her bed two weeks ago. That was the hammer driving home how vulnerable the children could be. And training up future Konoha shinobi within the clan compounds was not an option. Shikaku had looked into it, that was part of the founding charter.

A commotion at the end of the block briefly distracted Shikaku from his musings.

There was a yakatori cart on its side and a couple of chunnin patrolmen stalking through the crowd clearly on the hunt. The vender was yelling at a kid, new to the beat, and making one hell of a scene for the public to gawk at.

Shikaku stood with the crowd and watched for a long time. A weight pressed against his leg and looking down his gaze met that of a little girl. She blinked up at him for a second before offering up a bright smile, her little hand caught on his pants. A chunnin stalked past without a glance.

Raising an eyebrow at the girl Shikaku tilted his head in the direction the chunnin went, the girl tried to wink back but ended up squeezing both eyes shut instead. It was adorable.

Snorting Skikaku offered a hand and lead the kid over to a bench. She climbed up and settled next to the jounin commander. After a few minutes of silence, a sticky hand held out a stick of chicken yakitori. Shikaku accepted without a word and together they sat in silence as the vender down the block yelled about a miniature thief and how ‘those damn ninja patrols never did anything about them.’

Some time passed and Shikaku lazy watched the clouds from his bench. The little girl finished two whole sticks of yakitori all on her own, smacking her lips and licking her grubby fingers clean. By the time she was finished the cart had been righted and the commotion cleared.

The girl turned that same bright grin from earlier at Skikuku and said a cheereful “Bye-bye mister!” before hopping off the bench and disappearing into the crowd.

Watching the kid go until she turned a corner the spark of an idea itched in the back of Shikaku’s mind. It wouldn’t solve all the problems but it sure would help.

Loath to give up excellent cloud watching, Shikaku hauled himself off the bench and meanders discreetly after the little girl, dropping the disguise as the shadows swallowed him.

Fading into the shadows was a specialty of all shinobi but no one could manage it quite like a Nara. Even so the little girl made a show of constantly checking for anyone following her, sneaking quick glances at reflective surfaces and larger obvious looks over her shoulder. It was an excellent ploy for an untrained child. 

Once on a whim he kicked a nosy rock to see what would happen. The girl’s shoulders hunched and she took two steps before breaking into a run. Ducking through alleys and weaving under broken fences the girl lead Shikaku, unknowingly, on a chase around the greater part of the northern district before she circled back around to the same worn trail she’d been following.

Everything the little girl did made Shikaku more and more certain of this idea.

Eventually the girl’s shoulders relaxed and her entire body slumped. The brown of her scraggily hair bled pink and Shikaku had to pause and look around to make sure no one had been playing a prank. The little girl… had maintained a henge this entire time? Impressive. Even more so at the lack of focusing handsigns or chakra bleed.

She shook her head back and forth before smacking her little cheeks and then stomping around making a cheering noised for herself. It was faintly reminiscent of the rikishi before a match.

Then the girl ducked through an opening in a fence and trotted into a closed off alley full of congregating homeless. Shikaku sighed through his nose, this might be trickier then he thought. Generally street kids avoided adults entirely regardless of financial status. If the girl was willing to go into an area habited almost entirely by adults she must have someone she was returning to. A parent or an older sibling most likely.

She trotted down the alley waving and greeting a few people as she went before ducking around a fire barrel and into a slumping lean-to. Shikaku trailed along and blinked long and slow at a single sharingan eye that flashed his direction. The woman huffed and held out a hand, Shikaku paid his due so she wouldn’t sound the alarm and continued ducking down to peer into the structure.

The little girl was shuffling around before pulling out a cool yakitori. She held it up to a woman slumped back against the wall. Her eyes were vacant and arms limp. The shallow fast breaths told Shikaku she was alive and the syringe kicked out on the ground by her limp arm told him even more.

“Hiya Mama. I met a nice mister today. He helped me get some food! C’ome you gotta eat today Mama. Its yummy. I already had my bit.. Mama you gotta eat.”

The spiel continued for a while, the little girl waving the stick under her mother’s nose. Finally, the girl pulled off a piece of meat and held it against her mother’s lips. The woman sat their blankly before catching the meat with her teeth and slowly chewed it up. The girl had to remind her mother to swallow. This continued for a few minutes before the mother suddenly stopped chewing and sputtered the bite out.

“You wretch! Trying to poison me! Try to kill me again! I see you! I see you want me gone!” The mother was yelling at the little girl who was tearing up.

“No! No Mama! Its just food!” The little girl tried to tell the drugged woman. It didn’t help. The smack of the woman’s fist was loud in the crowded alley. The girl crawled out of the lean-to before taking off out of the alley. Shikaku cast on last look at the vacant mother before following the girl.

She had situated herself high up a wall littered with remnants of balconies and ladders before the buildings had been restructured closer and the windows closed off for privacy. Tucked away in a little fort Shikaku ducked down to peer at the girl.

“Hiya mister. Thanks for the food. I guess, I guess Mama didn’t like it though…” The girl said to her knees.

Eyebrows climbing Shikaku made a showing of looking around before pointing at himself as if he wasn’t sure the girl was talking to him. She giggled quietly peaking up. This was a bit of a surprise, that she had known he was there and recognized him from his dropped civilian disguise.

“Well I don’t think your Mama knows what she’s missing out on.” Crouching kind of sucked but there wasn’t any room to sit so Shikaku was stuck perched just outside the fort for the time being.

The girl shrugged glancing away. Not the most encouraging response but the kid was a kid after all, it was a miracle she was even talking to him or sitting still long enough to be talked at after Shikaku followed her around for the better part of two hours.

“Is your Mama always like that about food?” It was a leading question for the girl but Shikaku highly doubted she would notice.

“…Sometimes. When she gets sick ‘n takes her medicine she says that foods poison a lot.” The girl was mumbling into her knees again.

Shikaku nodded like that was understandable.

“Sometimes when you get sick its hard to eat. Has she gone to the …doctor recently?” He wasn’t exactly sure how to lead this kid around but so far nothing had set her off.

The girl frowned and peered up at him as if Shikaku was stupid. “There inn’t no doctors for people like us mister. Dontcha know that?”

She was getting anxious and the street rat was starting to show. Backing up Shikaku held up his hands to show he meant no harm by the question, only that he was a dumb guy worried about some kid and her mom.

“Do you… know doctors mister?” It took a long minute for the kid to start speaking again and when she did it was the best question she could have asked.

Shikaku nodded slowly, ducking a little to catch the kids eye. “Yeah. I know some really good doctors kid. Do you wanna get your Mama to a doctor for help? Maybe so the food wont be poison anymore?”

The kid was chewing on her lips as she thought about it. Eventually her eyes darted around before she crawled forward, Shikaku hopping out of the way. She stood on the edge of the balcony peering up at the jounin commander perched like a gargoyle in the poor part of town.

“Do I.. gotta do someth’n for the doctor mister?”

Shikaku sighed, here goes nothing.

“Yeah kid. You want a job?”

The girl slowly nodded looking warier in that moment then at any other point during the day. She shifted foot to foot ready to make a run for it if anything weird happened.

“What’s your name kid? And how old are you?”

The kid held up a hand, fingers spread. “I’m five mister. An’ my name’s Sakura. Just Sakura I know some peoples got lots of names but I just got one.”

“Alright Sakura, lets go get your Mama to a doctor. You need to get ready for school.” 

Shikaku held out a hand to the little girl and she hesitantly took it.

“School?”

“The Konohagakure Ninja Academy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALRIGHTY MY NEW AU
> 
> ok so this has actually been floating around in my head for.... probably a decade or more as a vague idea that would be kinda cool and yet I've never actually seen anyone write before. I think time travel fics get close to the idea but its not the same thing?
> 
> Anyways ch 1 is short mostly because its just a taste of what the fic will bring. Incase its not... clear this fic is going to be Dark. i like to write humor and make people laugh and this fic will have bits and pieces of that but ultimately its going to be a very dark exploration of life as an unimportant child in a ninja village.
> 
> the update schedule will be slightly erratic, those of you who have read my other work are aware of this. sometimes ill pump out chapters every week for two months... sometimes i go MIA for a year or more. depends on how life hits me ya know?
> 
> anyways I'm super excited for this fic and i hope everyone else is too!


	2. Chapter 2

Sakura was really busy all the time now. Mister Spooky – he's really called Nara Shikaku but she was allowed to make up a name for him so she did – helped Sakura get Mama to a doctor, a real one! And then he said that Sakura had to work for the fee.

Sakura agreed because _everything_ cost money. Clothes and food and dry places to sleep it was all very expensive so it made sense that doctors also cost a lot of money. Right now Mister Spooky said that Sakura needed to learn her letters and a few other things before she was allowed to work off her fee. Because Sakura was little and didn’t know everything yet she couldn’t do her job.

That also made sense so Sakura tried her best to learn letters, and how to write, and everything that Kamaya-san taught her during the week.

Oh yeah! And Sakura had a room now! She was worried that the room would cost money and that she wouldn’t be able to pay Mama’s doctor fee _and_ for her room and food but Mister Spooky had gotten a weird look on his face before telling Sakura a secret. Everyone who became a ninja got free room and board! And since Sakura’s future job was to be a ninja that also made sense.

So now Sakura lived in her room and sometimes went outside with Kamaya-san and learned everything she needed to know. It made her itchy not to be outside constantly. Almost like fleas itchy but Sakura was very careful to make sure she didn’t have any new bites and besides she’d been scrubbed till her skin was pink and wrinkly before she was allowed in her new room that first day.

After her lessons from Kamaya-san every Thursday, if she was a good girl and did everything Kamaya-san told her, Yao-san took her to see Mama. Sakura had gotten to see Mama six times since she went to the doctor. Last time Mama had told her that Sakura was poison which was better then calling the food poison because food was important and everyone needed to eat.

Besides, later Yao-san said that all kunoichi should be proud to be poison because that meant they lived while their enemies died. Sakura nodded very seriously and told Yao-san that Mama had never been a kunoichi so she wouldn’t know that and Yao-san had agreed that Mama didn’t know what she was talking about.

Today Sakura was going outside for something completely different then learning letters in the sun – which Kamaya-san said was good for all little children. She was going to learn how to hold knives! Which Sakura was pretty sure she already knew how to do, Mitsuki, four blocks up, had shown her last year when Mama got really _really_ sick and Sakura lived with Mitsuki’s gang for a while.

Mister Spooky had shown up and taken Sakura outside to a big courtyard in the middle of the big building Sakura’s room was in and introduced her to Cat. Sakura hadn’t known that people could be called animal names but it was kinda cool. Cat was really tall and had a mask over their face.

Sakura figured that the mask was suppose to be a cat because Cat seemed like the type to be really dedicated to their name. Sakura also wanted to ask if the other masked people she saw sometimes got called animal names and _then_ got their masks or if the mask came first. And what happened if they broke their mask? Would they get a new one? Or would they have to get a whole new identity and instead of Cat they would be sometimes like Round Worm? 

Sakura figured this wasn’t the place to ask and stayed quiet while Mister Spooky and Cat talked for a second.

She was digging her toe into the dirt wondering if Cat was a boy or a girl or maybe neither or both when Cat crouched in front of her. Sakura flinched a little bit because people usually made at least a little noise when they moved but Cat was very quiet just like all the other masks she’d seen.

If Sakura hadn’t already called Mister Spooky spooky she would have called all the masks Spooky Masks instead. She also decided not to tell Cat that incase it hurt their feelings. Mister Spooky thought that the name was great because he was one of the spookiest ninja in the whole world because shadows loved him so the name didn’t bother him.

Sakura didn’t know what to say to Cat so she stayed quite and apparently Cat didn’t know what to say either because they also stayed quite. Maybe they were having a staring contest, so Sakura tried very hard not to blink because Cat probably wasn’t blinking under the mask either.

Mister Spooky seemed okay with the staring contest and let it happen for a long time before Cat suddenly moved reaching out to grab Sakura.

Sakura who was invested in the staring contest shrieked and ducked the grabbing hands just like when she ducked out of the chunnin patrol hands. Cat was a lot faster though and managed to grab her the second time but Sakura was very nervous about this about face in personality and thrashed around before sinking her teeth into the meat of Cat’s arm.

It worked on the patrols, usually, but Konoha ninja liked to wear short sleeves and Cat had on a lot of layers so it didn’t work like it was suppose to.  Instead Cat shook Sakura like she was a puppy. Growling Sakura lashed out with her foot when Cat wasn’t looking (she thought, the mask made it hard to tell) and stuck them in the jaw just under the line of the mask.

Cat made a faint choking noise and dropped Sakura who landed sprawled on her back in the dirt. She hopped back up fists pulled up just like Nora said last year when they had that run in with Mitsuki’s rival gang near the river.

Mister Spooky sighed really loudly and reached over to ruffle Sakura’s hair so hard she had to grab onto it so it wouldn’t fall off or something. Cat got a mean pat on the shoulder.

“Since you’re getting along so well Cat is going to teach you every Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday for the next month. We will assesse then. Good? Good. There shouldn’t be any problems.”

His tone said that if there were then there wasn’t going to be a problem anymore. Sakura gulped worried that meant Mama wouldn’t be able to see the doctors if there was. She tried to make her scowl tell Cat that they better not be a problem or she would end them. It might have worked but Sakura couldn’t tell since Cat’s face was a cat and not a person.

* * *

According to Cat Mitsuki had been completely wrong about how to hold a knife. And there were a ton of different knives that all had special names and ways to hold them. Sakura thought that was kinda dumb because knives were all just made to slice things so why make special ones for no reason. 

Cat told Sakura that was a dumb way to look at life and made a very compelling demonstration for why different blades were called different things and why they all got used for different problems. Sakura nodded before taking the kunai knife and trying to stab Cat in the leg because they were really rude about it.

It didn’t work and Cat just took the kunai knife and used the ring to smack the top of Sakura’s head. And then lectured her for twenty whole minutes about how calling a kunai a kunai knife was redundant. Sakura even counted and told Cat exactly how long they talked for.

The rest of the day was spent with Cat asking Sakura to keep time for random events while she practiced holding different weapons. First she had to tell Cat how many minutes it took for Kamaya-san to walk across the courtyard during her lunch break (2 minutes and 32 seconds), then she had to tell Cat how long they had been practiced holding senbon and only senbon that day (one hour six minutes and eight seconds total), and then they went on a field trip to see how long it took different people to walk around different city blocks (24 different people and 6 city blocks, only a few people made a complete loop which Sakura argued meant they didn’t meet the rules of the question but Cat told her to answer anyways so she did).

Sakura wasn’t sure why it was called a field trip when they went into the city and not a field but Cat was kinda worked up so she didn’t ask.

Then Cat asked Sakura to do something she was really good at already so she didn’t need Cat to show her how.

“Can you find 60 ryo?”

Sakura stuck her tongue out and blew a raspberry at Cat for the question and dug around in her pockets for a second like she was looking for coins. She wasn’t but she didn’t want Cat to see Kamaya-san’s wallet since Sakura hadn’t had time to ditch it.

Counting out the proper amount Sakura held out the money to Cat who took it in bemusement.

“Alright I’ll give you that one. How about finding 60 ryo from other people?”

Sakura squinted at Cat because duh that’s what she did in the first place before shrugging and trotting into the street. Maybe she’d only give Cat the 60 ryo they asked for and keep the rest and next time give some of it to Mama because it always made Mama feel better to have some spare coins.

Sakura looked around and found a likely target. She made sure to wrinkle her face up like she hadn’t eaten in a week even though Cat made her eat a snack earlier, and took an extra second to ruffle her clothes so they didn’t look so neat. It was harder to do this when she looked like she lived in a room somewhere inside now.

Finally ready, Sakura walked over to the woman and tugged at her sleeve. She seemed busy arguing with the grocer and only batted Sakura’s hand away. Undeterred Sakura tugged again saying “Ma’am? Ma’am? I’m really hungry do you have some change?” The woman huffed and handed Sakura a coin before shooing the kid away.

Sakura goggled at the coinage she’d gotten just by asking, she’d never seen a real gold ryo in circulation before and quickly stuffed the oval coin down her shirt. She was keeping it.

Eyeing another likely target across the street Sakura made the same ploy over and over until she figured she had enough. Then she weaved her way over to the Nikuman stall and got food for herself and Cat.

She handed over Cat’s portion of the Nikuman and the 60 ryo with a grin. Cat took both before pocketing the money. They held the little bag of dumplings like they weren’t sure what to do with it. That was ok if Cat didn’t want it Sakura would stash it in her room and eat it later.

“That was an… interesting way to go about it.”

Sakura wrinkled her nose at Cat because they were kinda dumb. Maybe she just needed to explain it to Cat so they understood.

Pointing at the street Sakura, enunciating carefully so that Cat would understand, said “That’s one of the patrol chunnin. He woulda grabbed me if I just took it. And if I just ran off without food… An’ that guy at the Ikayaki stall tried to beat me for stealing one time.”

Cat nodded slowly like they understood. Sakura wasn’t sure if they did but waited patiently eating her second dumpling.

“So you decided it was best to blend in with the street instead of pick pocketing that first woman?”

“Duh, that’s what I just said.”

“And who taught you the henge?” Asked Cat nodding at Sakura’s sneaky brown hair.

“No one…” Sakura paused to make sure that was right. “No one showed me this, figured it out on my own.”

Cat nodded a little more decisively this time before reaching out, really slowly so Sakura didn’t bite them this time, and patted her on the head.

“Could you pick pocket them?”

“Yeah… but…” She trailed off looking at the patrol.

“Don’t worry I’ll take care of it if you get caught.”

Cat waved it off like it was nothing. They must have never gotten caught for stealing before. Old Lady ‘Gan got her legs chopped off for stealing and liked to flash her creepy eye when she told the story even if Nora said that was a lie and that Old Lady ‘Gan got her legs cut off for being in a war.

Sakura took a deep breath and tried to stuff the entire third dumpling in her mouth for bravery. It didn’t work and Cat had to thump her on the back a few times but she ate the dumpling anyways before she went back into the street.

A little while later she came back and gave Cat a couple of crisp bills and a few coins to make up the difference. Cat took it and stuffed it in a pocket, a different one then the first set of coins Sakura realized. She hadn’t gotten caught! Or maybe she had but Cat with their cat mask had scared the chunnin off.

She wasn’t complaining because she took a few extra bills for herself and Cat didn’t ask for those which meant she could keep them.

Cat didn’t make her steal anything else that day but they did show her how to throw a kunai which was almost as good as that gold ryo Sakura had stuffed down her shirt.

* * *

Inoichi stood next to Shikaku watching the little girl through the one-way glass. She was crawling around on the ground with one ear pressed to the floor occasionally knocking against the wood. 

“This is a terrible idea.” Inoichi would know, he was the master of terrible ideas.

Shikaku shrugged without saying anything. Sakura was pushing her table across the floor for some reason.

“No seriously how old is this kid even? I thought that Konoha was against promoting young children now?” Inoichi continued annoyed at being ignored when he had nothing but valid questions.

Sakura was knocking against the wood where the farthest right leg of the table usually sat. She seemed very happy with the results.

“Who said anything about promoting her? She’s going to the academy just like every other kid her age.” Said Shikaku slanting his eyes at the blond next to him. Maybe Inoichi was getting worked up about this because of his own daughter. The girl was four this month and had been talking non stop about becoming a ninja for weeks.

“Shikaku that’s cruel. Who are you to- wait what is she doing?”

Sakura had snuck a flat throwing blade away from training with Cat earlier and was using it to pry up a floor board.

The conversation stilled as the two jounin watched the kid pull up the floor and stash her super secret treasures underneath, replace the floor, then slide her table so the farthest right leg sat directly over the trove.

Shikaku let his eyebrows raise at Inoichi’s reflection who scowled.

“Ok sure she shows a lot of potential but that doesn’t mean squat.”

“She doesn’t have brown hair.”

“ _What_ does _that_ even have to do with anything?”

Shikaku nodded at the room and the girl. Inoichi turned back and had to blink really hard a few times because the girl sitting on the little bed in the corner of the room had bright pink hair not the mousy brown she’d been sporting all afternoon.

Opening and closing his mouth a few times Inoichi pointed at the girl then at Shikaku accusingly.

“Didn’t teach her that, she knew how to do it before I met her.” Shikaku held up a scout’s honor sign.

Inoichi sighed loudly a couple of times to make sure Shikaku understood how much he was against this whole thing.

“How old is she?”

“Five.”

Inoichi nodded slowly. She was at least a year older then Ino then. The malnourishment of living on the streets meant that no one would accurately guess her age and would probably go with younger over older during the majority of her childhood.

“And you want her to meet Ino?” Inoichi was against this whole thing but he would go along with it. Shikaku was a good jounin commander and was excellent at running long ops.

“Yes… we’ll set a meet in the next two months or so. Let her get established in the neighborhood first.” Shikaku wanted a smoke because it would be hell getting the house ready for the kid but hopefully worth it in the end.

“I… ok. Ok I’ll help but I want no part of the mission long term. Keep me out of it.” Inoichi finally relented.

Shikaku nodded, deactivating the glass. He turned to walk out of the little room and head upstairs to his office. Inoichi pensively following along.

In the hallway outside the commander’s office waited a pair of middle aged shinobi. The two had been running surveillance and infiltration ops together for nearly a decade and typically partnered for all missions. It wasn’t a surprise that Nara had called both of them in for something but the inclusion of Yamanaka Inoichi was new.

Typically, they only saw Yamanaka when reporting critical intel not before a mission even happened.

Tanaka Mebuki straightened up at the sight of the commander and roughly elbowed her partner, Nakazawa Kizashi, to make sure he was presentable. Both followed Shikaku into his office when he gestured for them to follow. The door closed ominously behind them.

Standing at attention wasn’t difficult but watching Shikaku pace was stressful. That Inoichi had perched himself on the desk and wasn’t saying anything with his arms crossed made it worse. Mebuki figured they had about 10 more minutes before Kizashi cracked and asked what was going on.

Thankfully Shikaku stopped pacing before then and took a seat, partially obscured by his former genin teammate.

“I have a long term infiltration mission for you. Expected duration 10 years, full cover.” Shikaku paused to hear any arguments, when none came from the shinobi he nodded and continued.

“Both of you work well together and would be ideal for this. It wont be taxing physically, or it shouldn’t be at least. You’ll be posing as a civilian couple, new to the area. Your job is to provide a cover for the mission point as she works. She will be posing as your young daughter.”

Shikaku folded his hands on his desk and waited. Inoichi wasn’t helping with his presence but it figured he would stick around even after declaring he wanted no part of the mission planning.

Mebuki and Kizashi didn’t say anything for a long minute, both mulling over the important parts of the specs.

“…What’s the pay?” Asked Mebuki who always had her eye on the prize.

Shikaku wordlessly slid a paper across his desk – Inoichi refused to move out of the way and made him slide it sideways instead of dramatically forward. Mebuki picked it up and blinked at the price. She wordlessly handed it to Kizashi who barely even looked, already moving on to bigger and better things.

“So we,” he waved a finger between himself and Mebuki for clarification, “have to pretend to be married for a decade? And that we have a kid? Who’s the kid?”

Shikaku nodded slowly. He wasn’t handing over specs on the kid till the mission was accepted though. Neither shinobi looked put out by the secrecy, it was expected in this line of work.

“Where are we going?” Mebuki honestly couldn’t leave anything to Kizashi, they’d be dead in a ditch if she did. That’s why she liked running point and being the eyes in the sky during infiltration.

“Do you accept?” Hedged Shikaku, he wasn’t answering that one either.

Mebuki nodded, she'd been sold the second she saw the money, the details would be nice but she could wait for them if need be. Kizashi, ever a trend follower, chirped out a “sure” once Mebuki agreed.

“Flower District, Konohagakure. Code name Haruno, you may use your own given names if you choose to. This will be your daughter.” Shikaku dropped a folder on the desk while Mebuki and Kizashi reeled at their mission local.

Mebuki, recovering first, grabbed the folder and flipped it open. A grungy kid with pink hair stared up at her. Looking past the photograph she read the details out loud to the room. “Sakura… Age 5. Rank none, family name unknown, mother Haia, father unknown, known abilities…. Henge?”

She paused to blink at the file for a second before continuing.

“Blade work pre-genin, infiltration genin, intuition genin, taijutsu pre-academy, ninjutsu pre-genin, genjutsu pre-genin, genjutsu detection genin. Assessment: consider for promotion five months.”

She looked up at Shikaku who was utterly blank and Inoichi who looked extremely uncomfortable. Kizashi was leaning over her shoulder to get a better look at the file so she handed the whole thing to him.

“What… exactly is this girl’s mission?”

Shikaku grinned with all his teeth, the shadows swirling ominously in the corners of the room.

“She’s going to the Academy next year.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK SO im so fucking pumped for this fic that i wrote out the second chapter literally as soon as i woke up after posting the first bit (and fixing all the mistakes posting at 2am leaves) and then i sat on it for as long as i could handle it
> 
> Pls dont expect updates to be super regular this is a one off probably idk but i wont update on any set schedule 
> 
> ANYWAYS keep sending in the AU type guesses in! so far no one has it! thats ok tho lollll I'm having SO MUCH FUCKING FUN PLOTTING THIS ONE and writing it out 
> 
> also can i say that Sakura straight up giving the jounin commander, arguably one of the most important people in the village, a nickname like you would give a stuffed animal made me laugh on and off for like an hour once i thought of it????????? And Shikaku was like.... hmmm acceptable i _am_ very spooky watch this shadow move around and be spooky too lilllllll
> 
> no beta we die like men (this explains the mistakes of my 2am posting habits *eyeroll*)


End file.
